Originally I was thinking I would need to get the 3 of them out the door and to the doctor's office for an appointment that Cayman was terribly anxious for (as she is for all appointments) which ensues high sensitivity and increased sibling tension. At the breakfast bar Kobe and Cayman were finishing up their plate of blueberry pancakes that Kobe so sweetly asked if he could make with me this morning when my phone dinged, informing me of Cayman's audiology appointment today.
"Cayman has a doctor appointment today. Ok, so this is what we're going to do..." I immediately switched to frumpy mom mode to manager of the "what's next..." list. But Cayman was not happy. With no warning she shoved Kobe in the face. She was nervous and Brother became her punching bag. Kobe screamed at her (can't blame him) and retaliated with his own slap. Cayman cried hard!
I halted the fight, thinking quick to resolve the situation's need. It is not appropriate for Cayman to react to fear like that and that needed to be addressed. But first she needed to understand and be understood. Once Cayman's anxiety is tripped it's a constant renewal of trust before any lesson gets through the barrier of her mind.
"Cayman, when mommy said you have a doctor's appointment today, you got upset." She put her head down. "Does that make you feel nervous?" Cayman lifted her head back up and sharply nodded her head yes. "This doctor appointment is not going to be scary." I assured her.
"Nooooo." she protested my words.
"Alright, Cayman. What kinds of things scares you at the doctor's office?" I wasn't really sure if she could answer this question. More and more her expressive language is building and therefore I give her the opportunity.
"Noooo." Cayman whined, begging to shut down like she always wants to do when she's anxious.
Kobe answered, "Shots."
"Nooo, Kobe!!" Cayman yelled at him. For the meantime I ignored her moody responses as I have redirected, corrected, and disciplined them a thousand times and a thousand times and one they return.
"That's right, Kobe. Shots can be scary. But Cayman, you're not getting any shots today. There is nothing that is going to hurt you. It is a hearing test. What goes on during a hearing test, Cayman?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "Oh, c'mon, I know you know." I paused. She refusing to talk.
"Remember going in the small, quiet room and you put on the headphones?" Cayman sat up straighter, listening, breath calming, shoulders relaxing. "Then there's the different sounds. Sometimes they're on the right and sometimes coming from the left." Cayman smiled and nodded her head. "And what else?" I coaxed her to take over telling me how a hearing test is conducted.
She mimicked the sounds of swooshing and whistling and her arms moved about as she talked. She had gone from terror to excitement quickly. But now Kobe wanted to have a hearing test done just like he also wants to go to physical therapy. Get one happy and the other one falls.
Thank God for Grandma Sue! She helps me out in so many ways. The saying goes - It takes a village to raise a child. Without it the task is so much harder. I appreciate my mother in law. She sees to it we don't have to experience that struggle. She gives the kids individual special attention, making then each know they are amazing human beings that are loved!
I dropped Kobe and Cassady off at her house.
Cayman looked at me with a big smile as she climbed back into the van. "We go have girl time, Mommy, just you and me?"
"That's right, my girl! Let's go!"
At the Audiologist's office I got to stay with Cayman because I didn't have the other two younger ones along. They are too distracting and interrupting to take back. Cayman amazed me with how well she followed directions. She let the doctor clear her ears of wax build up. She wore the headphones. Lifted her hand in response to sounds she could hear. Past moments flashed through my mind. What a long journey these hearing tests have been. From her NICU days when it gave inconclusive readings, to further follow up appointments, finally diagnosed at the age of 2 with hearing loss, her refusals to follow directions or wear the headphones at each appointment, lots of crying she did.
Today she was grown up. My heart nearly burst with pride. The enjoyment was all mine watching her!
She raised her hand in the air when she could hear the sounds. After each time her hand went up she brought it back down behind her head, rubbing her hand down her hair, like you would see someone do when they want their arm wave to look inconspicuous. It made me giggle inside. Not sure why she did that but it was Cayman doing it and that kid gives me a thousand reasons to smile everyday.
|Clearing out the wax build up.|
|Making new ear molds.|
|Taking the stairs instead of the elevator (just 3 flights).|